The De facto Guide for Hacking (Beginner's level to advanced)

Before we begin first make sure you bookmark this page in the event that if it goes offline you have a link to it.

Having said that if you just made that bookmark, then this is the guide for you. You have to have absolutely no knowledge of computers at all to think a bookmark to a nonexistent webpage will work. You are the type of person who knows nothing of computers, yet still wants to become a "hacker." Why do you do this? Simple. You want someone else's password. Let's face it. Hacking isn't what you've heard it was. Sure you might have read stories about ethics and crap like that. But in reality, it's all about just getting other people's passwords.

So without further adieu let me mention one more thing before we begin.

Anyone can use a computer, write a program, etc., easily, but can they get your password? No. Because they're not Hackers. Hacking also isn't an art. There's a secret reason why you have been misled to believe this.
I'll get to that later. Now is later.
Getting the passwords
Requirements: No skills are necessary. No programs to download. You don't even need a computer, although it's highly recommended. All you need is to follow the instructions below. The "art of hacking" is to prevent people from catching onto the fact that it's really easy to do. They will go out of their way to make complex guides about Unix and c++ or whatever make-believe terms they feel like coming up with. (They have even gotten people to believe that certain browsers are more secure than others and then those people past this false information along, even though common sense would tell you no one would actually bother to read through 70 million lines of code to find this out). I even once heard "If it doesn't grep it's not a real computer". Saying things that make no sense like this will automatically ensure that everyone else will think you know more then they do. Because you make it up, it's impossible to prove otherwise.

And now without any more adieuing, How to get anyone's passwords in about 6 easy steps (and three really hard ones).

Step 1. Most people will mess up this part so we'll just skip ahead to step 2

B. Find a rock (see below on ways to accomplish this.)

III. Rocks are fairly easy to get. Most grocery stores will have them. However they tend to be expensive. There are some ways around that. One of the best and most popular today is "Social Engineering".
You can use social engineering to acquire the rock. First find a store manager. They wear the colored vests. Usually Red, Blue, maybe Green. They have an RGB value associated with them that has a nasty exploit.
You can inject this statement, "Hey, can I have this rock here?"
If that doesn't work then usually this will, "Hey? This rock here. Mind if I take it?"

And you just got yourself a free rock. Other ways are looking around the ground for them, but this takes trial and error and you often need to brute force it. Especially if you're floating on water, inside a plane, or just simply looking up.

Level Four. Now that you have the rock, you need to find a house with no occupants in it. Best at night time. You want to get valuable passwords of people worth taking them from. So anyone old enough to own a home, but young enough to go out every once in a while will be a great target. These are people who usually own computers. Since they're all idiots they will leave their passwords lying around easy for you to find.

&H0101. This step is important. Take the rock and throw it through a window. It's best to check around the house first for stickers or signs that say if the house is protected by some alarm company. If you find one, then you know they don't have an alarm. Else why would they go through so much trouble to convince you they did?

(Blossom's Best Friend). Next try the door. It might be unlocked. If not, it's good thing that you just threw that rock through the window. Always plan ahead.

Lesson 7. Once you have gotten inside the house, look for their computer or laptop. Nearby will be a piece of paper or notebook with all of their passwords on it. This is placed near their computer for convenience. To you or them ... I'm not sure.

Part 8. Now take out your digital camera I mentioned on how to get in great detail in Step 1 and take some pictures of what you see written down. It doesn't really matter if it makes sense or not because you can spend time later trying to read their shoddy ass handwriting. Make sure you brought rubber gloves with you, because I've found that police have a way to track people that don't wear them. For this reason it's a good idea to wear them all year round.
Make sure that you put the computer and papers you moved back to where they were before. Otherwise they might notice that you were looking for that and if you're really unlucky, they could change some of their passwords before you can use them. Most people on average will change their passwords once every time they've lost it and need to reset it, which comes out to be about every six months to seventeen years.

As a bonus you can take a few things while you're there. (If you're going to screw them over, you may as well do it completely.) Once you see the cops arriving, then you know it's around that time to be leaving.

Now you have their passwords. As you might notice they are all really stupid. You may see many common words from the dictionary with the numbers 1, 11, or 12 appended to them, as they are told to add numbers "for security reasons", and no one would ever guess those three. Examples include 'password1'. Other passwords are names of the site they go to, such as 'Tripod'. Some "power users" are advanced and have ones like 'test123'.
However, many have ones that follow a pattern. This is good for you. Take the examples, roxypixy72, pixyroxy72, pixyroxy11, etc. When you see these all on one sheet of paper, it means they are so dumb, they can't even remember their own pets' names.
In any case, the formula is simple to follow, so that when you get to a site that you know they're on (because these geniuses will use their autonomous login name, you can easily google, on every site they register), you can then try out all 200 or so combinations of pixy first then roxy followed by a number between 1 and 99, and of course roxy, then pixy. They will usually use the same set of numbers, so it further reduces the time it takes to get their "new" passwords they've cleverly come up with.

10. Important also. Never tell anyone what you know. This is very important, much like everything else in this guide was. If you know anything about hacking, then tell people you know nothing. Likewise if you know nothing about computers, then tell everyone you know everything. Similarly if you know a little, then tell them you barely know anything, and if you barley know anything tell them you know a bit. Whatever make sure they have no idea what you know and don't know.
This will confuse people and keep them away from you if you happen to know anything at all.
You may be worrying about telling them you know a lot if you don't know scrap. Well, it turns out that's okay, because what's more fun than someone smarter then you asking for help from an idiot who can only screw up their system even more than what they have done?

If you actually bothered to read anything about computers, then you probably are an expert. Maybe even a hacker. Never mind this. If you find yourself in a situation where someone asks if you know anything about computers (probably because theirs is broken), they will have you doing tedious work just so they can fuck it up again. So if they ask, just tell them "nope, sorry," even if you are standing in front of one inside your own bedroom. If they start to ask about the computer right by you, suddenly cut them off mid-sentence and shout, "Oh My God, what in the world is that thing!" Then point to something behind them, even if it's a wall. This always works. They never remember what they were talking about when you do this and I find it helpful in many other situations as well, such as when you suddenly realize you don't have enough money for what you just bought in a store.

And there you have it, 12 easy steps to getting anyone's password so long as they have one. All without knowing anything about "hacking."



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